How to make a good Relationship (3 important things)

Guide to good relationship:

love

 

After being in a relationship for a while many people would secretly confess that the person they've chosen to share their life with has left them depressed and dissatisfied in many ways. They would have no trouble coming up with a list if asked for more details about their partner, they can complain.  Is too devoted to their disgusting families, does not express their opinions on the living room configuration, never wants to go out on vacation. Every Wednesday evening, regardless of the weather, he plays tennis. Doesn't care about Moroccan cuisine Doesn't share their passion for Russian novels from the nineteenth century. When it's unnecessary, he adds the word "actually" to the second sentence. They get more irritated as the list becomes longer.

They sigh as the list becomes longer; they love their partner and want to be together with them; it's just that making this relationship work seems impossible. The source of their dissatisfaction isn't because they've tragically chosen a fool for a partner; rather, we've all inherited unnecessarily complex expectations about what a partnership is meant to be about. We are taught that marriage requires the almost complete connection between two lives: we want a loving couple to live in the same home, have the same meals every night, share the same room, go to bed and wake up at the same time, only ever have sex with (or even sexual feelings about) each other, and see each other daily.

They visit each other's families daily, share all of their friends, and have essentially the same opinions on any subject at all times. It's a lovely view, but it's also a terrifying one, for it puts an impossible burden of expectation on another person. We believe that the mate must be perfect for us in any way and that if they aren't, they must be pushed and tricked into changing their ways. But there's another way of looking at it: marriages don't have to be too complex and ambitious if we bear in mind what makes them satisfying in the end. When it comes down to it, there are probably only three things we want from each other:

 

relatioship

• • Kindness: a companion who is patient with our mistakes and accepts us for who we are.
  • Sharing Vulnerability: Someone with whom we can be frank about our anxieties, fears, and the challenges that throw us off balance: someone with whom we don't have to put on a good show; someone with whom we can be frail, insecure, and truthful - and who will reciprocate.
  • Understanding: someone who is interested in and can make sense of such enigmatic aspects of our minds, such as our obsessions, preoccupations, and worldviews. And that, in exchange, we are eager to learn more about.

  We would feel cherished and essentially happy if we have these three critical components on hand, regardless of the variations that arise in a hundred other fields. Maybe our partner's friends or habits aren't our cups of tea, but we'll be happy. We are likely to feel alone and unworthy if we ignore these emotional goods but agree on every detail of European literature, interior design, and social life.

  We will avoid the tyranny and bad temper that plague so many lovers by restricting what we want a relationship to be about. A decent, easy - but very satisfying - relationship could deteriorate to the point that we don't socialise much together.

  We are unable to encounter each other's relatives. Just a few points in our financial lives may intersect. We may be in various cities and only see each other twice a week. We may not even ask each other too many questions about our sex lives. But being in the company of someone who knew how to be kind, vulnerable, and understanding would be immensely gratifying while we were together. Since it is not played out through all realistic details of life, a relationship between two individuals may be profound and meaningful.

  We will reflect on our urgent fundamental needs to be sympathised with, heard, and understood by simplifying - and clarifying - what a partnership is about. This frees us from unnecessarily complex conflicts and allows us to focus on our urgent underlying needs to be sympathised with, seen, and understood.

   

dating

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